Alright, folks, buckle up! We're about to embark on a wild ride through the treacherous landscape of e-commerce email and SMS marketing. But first, let's get the elephant in the room out of the way - yes, there's a form you can fill out for a chance to win 47 buckaroos. Take 25 seconds, live a little, and who knows? You might be able to afford that extra guac at Chipotle.
Now, onto the main event: the six deadly sins of e-commerce marketing. Grab your holy water, because we're about to exorcise some demons.
1. The "Shy Guy" Syndrome (Insufficient Campaign Volume)
Listen up, wallflowers! If your campaigns are killing it, don't just sit there twiddling your thumbs. Crank that volume up to 11! With proper segmentation, you're not spamming - you're serenading. Your audience will eat it up like free samples at Costco.
2. The "Forgetful Fred" Fiasco (Missing Key Flows)
If your email strategy were a Swiss cheese, these missing flows would be the holes. From Welcome Series to VIP Flow, First-Time Buyer to Sunset Unengaged, these babies are the backbone of your email empire. And don't forget SMS - it's not just for texting your mom anymore (tell Stacey I said hi... and ask if she's still free tomorrow night).
3. The "Mediocre Mike" Mishap (Low Converting Opt-In Forms)
Aim for the stars, or at least a 6-7% conversion rate. Your opt-in form should be so irresistible, people click faster than you can say "free shipping." Test, optimize, rinse, repeat. Make it pop like the last kernel in the microwave.
4. The "Spray and Pray" Snafu (Poor Segmentation)
Blasting your entire list with every email is like using a flamethrower to light a candle. Get surgical with your segments - 30-day engaged, 90-day engaged, non-buyers, recent buyers. Treat them like the unique snowflakes they are.
5. The "Tech-Illiterate Tim" Trap (Suboptimal Deliverability Practices)
DMARC, SPF, DKIM - no, these aren't new kpop groups. They're your tickets to the inbox promised land. Set up a dedicated sending domain in Klaviyo like you're claiming your spot on the digital frontier. Yeehaw!
6. The "Boring Bob" Blunder (Weak Copy and Design)
Your emails should be so compelling, people open them faster than a bag of chips during a Netflix binge. Need inspiration? Check out my 81-page e-commerce email marketing opus. It's chunkier than a peanut butter jar and twice as satisfying.
Remember, if you haven't filled out that form for the $47 prize, what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? This is it, baby!
Thanks for sticking around, you magnificent marketing mavens. Now go forth and conquer those inboxes!
- Jake, your friendly neighborhood email whisperer
